Every now and again crusader kings makes you put down your whisky and save the game so you can look at the screen and go 'wtf? i need a bit of time here to work things out'
So, heres our boy Oberto, son of Arduino - he of the famous AAR from ye ages past
In maybe half a year hes been imprisoned for trying to kill his half brother, escaped, marched off to war with his step mother (matilda of Tuscany) who promptly died in battle, this fractured all the Tuscan lands between his half brothers, all sons of Arduino, leaving the Duchy of Tuscany to the half brother he tried to kill - because the half brother is chaste, hes 21 with no wife or children - his heir? Oberto - he must be stabbed but i have to wait another 2 years before i can try again to kill him
This is him
I have to keep a close watch on him and prepare to stab any wife he makes and any of their children, OR can try and marry him to one of my family who is too old to conceive - then just wait for him to die
In the meantime i decided it would be fun to succumb to this girls hotness - the princess from England with all the claims on the English throne, who became my soulmate. However, i forgot she was my spymasters wife who revealed the affair to everyone including my wife - before she died Matilda had her imprisoned on my wifes behalf. For that i killed my spy
For that my wife killed Christina
For that i killed my wife
And the duchy of Spoletta passed to another of Arduinos sons and another half brother - but my dread is so mighty and scary he abstained and passed the title to Oberto who has now rocketed from the count of Parma trying to figure out how to increase his lands to the Duke of Spoletto with the King of England as an ally and the Duke of Apulia
If i can kill the half brother this second go round i can take power of half of north of Italy, have 2 duchys and start looking at the Duke of Lombardy - the true asshole of the tale
and then it was time to drink and rest - the scheming is real