The USS Lawrence was a DDG in early 1972. She was at Guantanamo for Refresher Training.
She was the Atlantic Fleet's test bed for new technologies and was more of a testing vehicle than a trained combatant. Her captain and XO were more engineers than sailors. They Whenhad not prepped for intense drills. she started the Reftra, they got rudely awakened. No slack for being a test bed, the ship had to perform under combat conditions, and they were failing.
By the third day, they were in trouble, not a record, but kind of unusual.
One of the first class sailors otg his promotion to chief on the way to Gitmo. The Captain allowed the chiefs to have a wetting down party at the CPO club. They all left, in dress whites to get utterly sh*t faced.
After the drills performed earlier in the day, there was oil in the bilges. Should have been pumped out three miles from shore, but the chiefs were distracted.
Oil in the bilges would have gotten a gig when the inspectors checked the space. Without telling anyone, the chief engineer told the watch to pump it out. In the morning, he would say the oil slick had to be from Manley or Columbus.
Well, the kid set up an eductor to empty the bilges. An eductor works by suction. A strong stream of water goes through an open block. This is in the liquid, the suction pulls in the fluid and it goes down the pipe.
Unfortunately, he hooked up the eductor backwards. It was pulling seawater from outside the ship into the bilges.
Across the pier was Manley, and all the quarterdeck watch were saying isn't Lawrence lower in the water?
The engineering section had no idea why, but DON'T turn off the eductor, it's the only thing keeping us from sinking.
By now, it was dark and the Captain knew they were in real trouble. His answer? Get the chiefs back.
Well they'd been slamming drinks for three. Hours and had to be rolled into the bus. When the bus got on the pier, the chiefs stumbled on board, in their dress whites, and the XO sent them down. And not just the engineers but all of them - radiomen, gunners, skivvy wavers, electronic tech.
Well by 9:30, they had gotten the chiefs back out.
At the Officers club they announce all officers of Lawrence report to the ship.
Why?
She's sinking at the pier.
Well this sounded like the most fun, so the O club emptied for this show.
The Damage Control Assistant was brand new, he'd been pulled out of school and shipped down after the Lawrence's first day. The former DCA got permission to separate just prior to the ship heading to Gitmo and left a mess.
The poor guy said they needed help.
The duty Hull Tech, Orel Rist, got his away team over and had his portable pumps running in no time.
He traced out the hookup figured out it was wrong, and shut it off. He saved the ship.
And the Captain, XO, chief engineer, were relieved for cause and the ship failed Reftra.
An epic performance.
"These things must be done delicately-- or you hurt the spell." - The Wicked Witch of the West.
"We've got the torpedo damage temporarily shored up, the fires out and soon will have the ship back on an even keel. But I would suggest, sir, that if you have to take any more torpedoes, you take 'em on the starboard side." Pops Healy, DCA USS Lexington.
Topic: Tales of Military Idiots (Read 37122 times)