"A Very British Civil War" brings to mind...
One British Side: "Well, chaps, we're downright not liking our biscuits on our tea saucers."
The Other British Side: "That's quite maddening, wot? You don't need another saucer to hold your biscuit."
OBS: "Next, you buggers will be telling us we should export our tea to the colonies."
TOBS: "How about we export our rifle bullets into your backsides instead?"
OBS: "Right, we're mobilizing. Cheerio."
TOBS: "Aw'righ, we are too. Prepare yourselves."
OBS: ...
TOBS: ...
OBS: "...still on for the pub next Saturday, innit?"
TOBS: "Of course. Even if you're a bunch of wankers, who could give up a pint, wot?"
OBS: "Jolly good."
TOBS: "Jolly good."