I've never played Command Decision: Test of Battle; however, with Frank Chadwick as one of the designers, I'm sure it is good. I have played Flames of War. I think that scale equals what you are seeking. FoW is a fast playing game and probably lacks some of the features you are seeking. Some would suggest FoW is designed to sell their miniatures; however, way back in 2007, almost to the day, Glenn Kidd, (who is the co-designer of CDTOB), wrote a nice
blog post about Flames of War. I'm sure much has changed about FoW since 2007 and I was still pleasantly surprised to find these kind word by Mr. Kidd.
I remember hearing good things about
Spearhead by Arty Conliffe; however, I'm not sure if the game is still supported, nor how easy it would be to get a set of rules.
I'm not being very helpful...