Staff officers are universally made fun of.
Everyone who has been in a military service has seen their mistakes. Really, it's inevitable, they have to keep things running while nature and entropy conspire against them.
Then, their boss decides to have something done. The poor staff puke has to take amuttered direction and turn that into a messaged order that both gives clear direction to the recipient while ensuring the boss looks good. Often an impossible task.
The staff pukes get a lot of disrespect, but rarely any real hostility, they are just doing their job.
But sometimes they really excel the expectations.
Guantanamo bay used to have two very long piers. Just past Girl Scout Beach (don't ask) and adjacent to Radio Hill. Pier C was large and long to handle carriers, battleships, cruisers, and large auxiliaries like tankers. It had about ten berths on each side, and each beth could have ships tied up in nests. In that case, the ship would be ordered to berth 5A. This was on the starboard side of the pier (odd to starboard, even to port), the third berth out from shore, and right next to the pier (B would be next out from the pier).
The Kepler, DD753, was at Gitmo for Refresher training. This takes 2 -3 weeks and is constant exercise. Each day, the ship left harbor, was put through a day of simulated battle, or fires, or collisions, you name it. Then came in, tied up, and prepared to do it again the next day - better.
They came in and were assigned to 6A.
Unfortunately, there was already a ship in 6A, the carrier Independence.
The Kepler's captain had been screwed with for a week and decided to run with it.
He figured the overhang of the Indy's deck was just high enough. He backed into the space between the pier and ship.
To say the Independence crew was shoc ked would be an understatement. The captain and XO ran into the pier yelling to shear off.
"Just tieing up to my berth" replied the captain. Cool as a cucumber, as if berthing under a carrier was nothing unusual.
As he slo-o-owly pulled in and the mast missed scraping the Indt by inches.
The port captain trotted up the dock and told the. Captain they were in the wrong berth. Kepler was to be in 5A. Captain n showed him the assignment message, 6A.
His eyes bugged and verbally overrode the assignment.
Shortly afterward there was a volcanic explosion in the offices at Radio Hill.
"These things must be done delicately-- or you hurt the spell." - The Wicked Witch of the West.
"We've got the torpedo damage temporarily shored up, the fires out and soon will have the ship back on an even keel. But I would suggest, sir, that if you have to take any more torpedoes, you take 'em on the starboard side." Pops Healy, DCA USS Lexington.
