Bawb, it's pretty ancient by now, but have you ever read Bored of the Rings, by Harvard Lampoon?
" Bring me my white robes" said Goodgulf Greytooth.
"Ah, white robes for White Magic?". Asked Spam.
"No. White robes for White flag." He said, stapling them to his custom cue stick.
Seems like you could have written it.
"These things must be done delicately-- or you hurt the spell." - The Wicked Witch of the West.
"We've got the torpedo damage temporarily shored up, the fires out and soon will have the ship back on an even keel. But I would suggest, sir, that if you have to take any more torpedoes, you take 'em on the starboard side." Pops Healy, DCA USS Lexington.