Author Topic: The US Army Has Released Its First Audiobooks  (Read 1430 times)

trailrunner

  • Jr Lancer
  • ***
  • Posts: 536
Reply #30 on: June 24, 2020, 05:47:39 PM
My day:

0800
I get an email to perform some calculation.  Due by noon. 

This is far outside my area of expertise and experience, and if asked, the SMEs who do this daily could give me an answer in 30 seconds, but I'm not allowed to ask the SMEs (because politics).  I have no idea what this calculation is for or what the big picture is.  Just do it.  I also asked to show my work, as if I'm back in undergrad.

I do the calculation exactly as asked and send the result by 1000.

1015
Boss doesn't like the answer.  Tells me to check it against something else.  I had already done that once, so I do it again, and verify that my number is right.

1030
Boss realizes he didn't ask me to do calculate the right thing.  Tells me he needs an answer, dammit!  Tells me that he thinks the answer should be xxx because he sorta thinks he heard that somewhere at sometime.  He likes the number he has in mind because it would help him make the case he's trying to make.  According to The Wire, that's called "juking the stats."

1045
I tell the boss I have no data on the system he is asking about and can't do the calculation he wants.

1055
Boss tells me failure is not an option.  Tells me to come up with a number.

1115
I ask my wife to think of a number between one and a million and to defend her choice.  She ignores me and goes for a walk.

1130
I ask my other boss for guidance (and maybe some top cover).  I ask him if I can ask the SMEs.  He tells me to use google.

1230
By some stroke of luck, I find a paper that if I wave my hands around and assume this and that and some other things, might give me a barely defensible answer.  However, there are many key differences between this paper and what I'm trying to do, and as I said, I was outside my area of expertise, so I don't know what I don't know.  I have no idea of this is right from a physics standpoint, but the boss wants an answer dammit, so I do the calculation.

1300
I have a new answer, but it's not close to the answer the boss thought he heard.  But, given the information I have, and my five hours of experience in this field, it's the best I can come up with.

1315
Redo the calculation.  Type an email and cite my references as if I was submitting a paper for journal publication.  Redo the calculation again.  Water the new grass seed.  Redo the calculation again, download the report.

1345
I send the email with the new calculation.

By the time I logged off at 1530, I had not heard anything back.  I'm dreading tomorrow morning because I am expecting to see an email that says "I told you the answer I want is xxx.  Go check your math." 

I’ve spent half my life’s earning on wargames, women, and drink. The rest I wasted.


bbmike

  • Corporal
  • **
  • Posts: 3815
    • My Own Worst Enemy
Reply #31 on: June 24, 2020, 05:54:59 PM
That sounds a lot like how the Vietnam war was fought.

"My life is spent in one long effort to escape from the commonplace of existence."
-Sherlock Holmes


bob48

  • Smeghead.
  • Warrant Officer
  • Sergeant
  • *
  • Posts: 5377
Reply #32 on: June 24, 2020, 05:57:18 PM
Funny you should say that, because I thought the same thing - made we want to read 'A Bright Shining Lie' again.

“O Lord God, let me not be disgraced in my old days.”

'We few, we happy few, we band of brothers'


bayonetbrant

  • Arrogance Mitigator, Pilkunnussija
  • Administrator
  • Sergeant
  • *
  • Posts: 6116
  • Onward and upward
    • Six Degrees of Radio
Reply #33 on: June 24, 2020, 05:59:48 PM
You sure you're not dealing with salespeople?

Random acts of genius and other inspirations of applied violence.


mirth

  • Cardboard Mohel
  • Administrator
  • Sergeant
  • *
  • Posts: 6895
    • Armchair Dragoons
Reply #34 on: June 24, 2020, 06:00:33 PM
That sounds a lot like how the Vietnam war was fought.

Or how 2010 soccer was played.

Being able to Google shit better than your clients is a legit career skill.


trailrunner

  • Jr Lancer
  • ***
  • Posts: 536
Reply #35 on: June 24, 2020, 06:27:29 PM
That sounds a lot like how the Vietnam war was fought.

And yet we think we're so smart now.

34 months, 2 days to go.

I’ve spent half my life’s earning on wargames, women, and drink. The rest I wasted.


Barthheart

  • Lancer
  • *
  • Posts: 2523
  • Liquid noble gas dispenser
Reply #36 on: June 24, 2020, 08:30:54 PM
...
1115
I ask my wife to think of a number between one and a million and to defend her choice.  She ignores me and goes for a walk.
...

 :2funny: Sounds like we're married to the same person.

PETS - People for the Ethical Treatment of Square corners


panzerde

  • Jr Lancer
  • ***
  • Posts: 1216
  • Kriegsherr
    • Cry Havoc
Reply #37 on: June 24, 2020, 10:01:31 PM
By the time I logged off at 1530, I had not heard anything back.  I'm dreading tomorrow morning because I am expecting to see an email that says "I told you the answer I want is xxx.  Go check your math."


I am absolutely sure that this is going to happen. What you didn't talk about is the next step, where the entire thing turns out to have been pointless anyway because priorities have shifted and now they want something completely different.




I actually don't really like games.

Castellan -  La Fraternite des Boutons Carres


mirth

  • Cardboard Mohel
  • Administrator
  • Sergeant
  • *
  • Posts: 6895
    • Armchair Dragoons
Reply #38 on: June 24, 2020, 10:04:59 PM
This guy shows up tomorrow



Being able to Google shit better than your clients is a legit career skill.


panzerde

  • Jr Lancer
  • ***
  • Posts: 1216
  • Kriegsherr
    • Cry Havoc
Reply #39 on: June 24, 2020, 10:06:44 PM
Vader is at least competent.


I actually don't really like games.

Castellan -  La Fraternite des Boutons Carres


mirth

  • Cardboard Mohel
  • Administrator
  • Sergeant
  • *
  • Posts: 6895
    • Armchair Dragoons
Reply #40 on: June 24, 2020, 10:08:57 PM
And he eliminates incompetence

Being able to Google shit better than your clients is a legit career skill.


bayonetbrant

  • Arrogance Mitigator, Pilkunnussija
  • Administrator
  • Sergeant
  • *
  • Posts: 6116
  • Onward and upward
    • Six Degrees of Radio
Reply #41 on: June 24, 2020, 10:14:57 PM
He lifts people up. He doesn't tear them down

Random acts of genius and other inspirations of applied violence.


trailrunner

  • Jr Lancer
  • ***
  • Posts: 536
Reply #42 on: June 25, 2020, 06:27:56 AM
I am absolutely sure that this is going to happen. What you didn't talk about is the next step, where the entire thing turns out to have been pointless anyway because priorities have shifted and now they want something completely different.

I used to work in the AF LtCol's office.  BTW, nothing in this movie is wrong.


I’ve spent half my life’s earning on wargames, women, and drink. The rest I wasted.